In a few short years, this will be my baybeh :)
Baby Doctor and Extreme Pain
SO over the past two weeks I’ve been having extreme “woohoo” pain that extends down my inner thigh. Ive called multiple times to the doctor, and the nurse always says its normal. Ligament pains, the baby growing etc. But today I got fed up with it and called again. Once the nurse said it was “normal” I freaked out. My woohoo feels like it was smashed with a sledge hammer at all times. I can hardly walk, sit up, get out of bed, roll over or put my pants on. It is constantly HURTING and I cant take it anymore. They asked me to come in at 2 today to be checked for any dilating or varicose veins.
I posted on a BabyCenter forum about what I was feeling and one mom posted that it sounds exactly like SPD. SPD is where your public bones prematurely separate causing excruciating pain in the groin area, radiating down the inner thigh. Is generally on ONE side and can cause pain while walking, standing, getting up and down, pushing grocery carts and rolling over.
That sounds exactly like what I’ve been having. If the doctor tries to write this off as normal pain, I will probably freak out on her.
Amber teething necklace and a flower headband..I’m pretty sure thats my child.
Ouch and my husband is dumb.
So i flew to MI to see my mom for my baby shower last weekend. The party was great! It was so nice seeing friends and family :) But it was not so nice being in PAIN the whole time.
Apparently walking through the airport with my bags made me strain some tendons near my woo-hoo making walking, moving, getting up, sitting down and bending over EXCRUCIATING. And on top of that, the baby is sitting on my sciatic nerve, so my left leg is numb and when I stand up, my knees want to give out.
The doctor says this is normal. I DO NOT THINK SO. I didnt go into work yesterday because the pain was so bad..they told me to lay down and ice/heat the area..which didnt really help much. So now, I’m at work with excruciating pain in my woo-hoo. Fabulous. My husband got mad because I missed “another” day of work since I missed last monday due to lots of doctor appointments, and Friday due to me flying out to MI. So basically he was a big fat jerk and wouldnt shut up about how “he works all the time, 50 hours a week and never gets time off.”
Okay, well, I have a seizure disorder, am OFF my medication AND have a baby growing inside of me squashing all of my insides. I tell him to take days off so we can spend time together, but does he!? NO. Because god forbid someone makes more money in bonuses than he does if he misses a day.
I just wish he would understand that YES he does work all the time and YES I understand that hes tired from working, but I’m JUST AS TIRED maybe even MORE. I wake up at 6am, after not really even sleeping all night beacuse he SNORES and I pee every hour. Then I work from 730 until 4. Get home, let the crazy dogs outside. Feed them. Clean the house, meaning picking up all of his shit from the night before and this morning. THEN, cook dinner before he gets home. Take a shower. Get lunch and snacks ready for the next day. Put the dogs night night and then get in bed.
And then what does he do when he gets home. Eats the food that I cook. Takes a shower. Asks me to bring him snacks. Eats snacks. And lays in bed.
Maybe I’m over reacting since I’m pregnant and hormonal. But at the same time, he hasnt changed how hes acted since Ive gotten pregnant. He doesnt seem to understand that a baby sitting on your vagina is painful. BUT, occasionally he will do something nice like finish painting the baby room. Or sweep the floor. But that only happens once a month.
Okay, I think I feel better now. UGH.
Just a little background information:
My sisters and I are 14 years apart. One lives in CO and the other lives in NY. My one sister, Shelly, moved to NY when I was 4 years old so I never really saw much of her. She moved there because she was “model searched” by IMAGES NYC, a huge modeling company and spent most of my kid years, through my teens traveling the world. My mom and her didnt talk for 6 years because she is very religious and she thought she was “selling herself” so, basically whenever she would call, my mom would hang up on her or give the phone straight to my dad. I never really had much of a relationship with her because of all the tension in my house growing up; but little did I know that was just the beginning.
Shelly and my dad got really close over those 6 years, and remained close after that. Until my mom had suspicions of my father having an affair. So, she had me snoop around his workout/gun room when I was 12, and he came home and threw be down the stairs and out the back window. Shelly called my mom the next day after she heard about what happened and told my mom he was/had an affair which lead to a few months later when he killed himself. I was 13.
Fast forward to my later teens, Shelly and I are still not that close. She’s an alcoholic and works all the time in NY. We have moments when were close, and other times when we wont speak for months at a time. She has a weird view on how other people should live their life, and I dont handle people telling me what to do very well. Long story short, we have a very dysfunctional relationship.
Fast forward until now and she is divorced, has a kid by her last boyfriend, and has been sober for 9 months. And I am married, pregnant and loving my life. We had a huge blowout fight in February because she told me she didnt support the way I was “living my life” and that I needed “to take a good, hard look at myself and make some serious changes.” Whatever the hell that meant. She said some very hurtful things and I told her I didnt have anything to say to her if she was going to talk to me that way, so she told me she wasnt going to be in contact with me anymore and wasnt coming to my baby shower because she thought it was rude that I wasnt “making the necessary changes in my life.”
That leads us to today. Well, last night to be specific. Its been a few months since I’ve talked to her when, alll of the sudden, on my way home from work she calls me. I immediately think shes calling me “to give me one last chance to apologize to her and she’ll fly out to my baby shower on Friday.” So to save myself from the argument, I call my mom to ask if she knows why shes calling. And she does.
She has breast cancer.
Another big blow to our family. I immediately hung up on my mom and called Shelly back, trying to act like nothing was wrong and then she told me. We both cried for 45 minutes talking about it on the phone. She doesnt know how serious it is yet, but everything about it she said was unusual. The shape of the mass, the texture and size..which doesnt look good in the long run. It makes sense though. She has been so sick for the past year, sinus infection after cold, after bronchitis, MERSA, constant sickness.
She was explaining about how shes strong and weve been through a lot together as a family so we can get through anything..and if she doesnt, shes had a good life and she wont feel like she missed out on anything. I have to wait until 10ish today for her to call me. She is meeting with some surgeons in NYC to see what their going to do and if the cancer infected her lymph glands.
I seriously have no words. I’m not sure how much more I can take. If she dies, my family will be ruined even more than it already is. I’m 6 months pregnant, and this stress is not good for me or the baby. I wish there was more I could do for her but I know its out of my hands, which is the hardest thing to deal with right now.
I seriously dont know what to say.
In other news…
Had a baby doctor apt. yesterday :) Baby girl is measuring right on track for a 6-7 pound baby and her heartbeat was 144. Had to do the glucose test..that crap TORE my stomach up. And its still tore up today..at least I made it into work, but we’ll see how long that lasts.
In other news..I bought her first leotard this weekend! My husband and I were at a garage sale and I saw a huge bucket that said DANCE CLOTHES, so of course I raided it. I found a teal velour GK leotard and some lime green shorty shorts. I would have bought the whole box but my husband said all the other leotards were hideous. I’m ordering her another leotard hopefully in 2-3 weeks from Alpha Factor. Superrr excited!
Does anyone else feel like NOTHING happens in any of the new seasons episodes? I feel like a lot happened in every episode, last season. But this season seems to be filled with a bunch of fluff. Like, why drag out for 4 episodes whats wrong with Lauren? And I feel like they left a bunch of stuff out, or something. I was pretty sure Kelly’s mom left Kelly as her agent, and Kelly didn’t “fire her.” Oh, and last episode, wasn’t Kelly all friends with her mom and calling her regarding info she wanted? And then this episode she acted like her mom was the plague?
Regardless, this show is addicting.
Love how I’ve been working at my new job for about 4 months now. Have been praised on my work ethic, web designs and content writing aaaand the guy next to me gets promoted yesterday.
Yeah, he has been here 3 months longer than me. But thats about it. I know I am the one if the best content writers here..and I hand code all my HTML for the content I do. He..dosent know HTML. I’m here at 7-7:30am every morning and work until 4pm..straight through lunch and he takes an hour and a half lunch everyday and comes in whenever he pleases. Hes a nice guy, I cant complain about him being nasty or anything. But seriously, I know the only reason why he was promoted was because he is BEST friends with our supervisor. And you cant really promote a pregnant girl who will be taking off 12 weeks.
But still. It urks me.
Like, I dont feel the need to hang out with people I work with, OUTSIDE work. I actually think its very unprofessional. Especially when its supervisors hanging out with people who are “under” them. It creates favoritism. Everyone who works here either goes to the same church, lives in the same neighbor hood, or are blood related. And on top of that, they all seem to hang out together like playing basketball everyday, volleyball, go out to lunch etc.
No. I am here to work. I will be friendly, but dont try to befriend me. Just let me do my job and go home.